Temptations A-peel
I am convinced God can save me from myself. I just wish it wasn’t always so messy.
Shopping for groceries for a visiting guest, I come across bananas, and pause. The weather had been abysmal and the cheery yellow of the bananas grabs my attention. They are straight and upright, each bunch arranged equidistant from the next. Bunches of eight alternate with bunches of four, the visual weight just right. I tear a cluster of four bananas in half, place two in my shopping cart and think, for the company. This is at the beginning of my shop and as I wind through the aisles, I smile each time I see them - I am buying bananas!
Before you think I am going bananas, I should mention I am allergic to bananas and haven’t bought any in years. My eyeballs itch so fiercely that when I rub them I am in danger of gouging them out. Not pretty.
These two, beautiful bananas come home with me, and I place them next to a bowl of clementines. The contrast is striking, and I think I will soon see those same colors in the leaves of the Fall trees, my favorite time of year!
The morning after my guest leaves, I enter the kitchen and notice there are fewer clementines, but the two bananas remain. Their color is faded and speckled with small brown spots, looking like polka dots on a pale yellow dress. This is my favorite stage of a banana and I can almost taste it. The meat would be softer and sweeter, and they seem to be calling me, drawing me in. What can I say? I am hooked.
Quickly getting a ceramic bowl from the cabinet and strawberry yogurt from the refrigerator, I push back the thoughts flooding my head and started justifying my decision. What is one banana? Were my eyes really that itchy? How do I know I haven’t outgrown my allergy? And I caved.
It feels like Christmas morning as I spoon the pale pink yogurt into the bowl. Peeling the banana, I can hear the clashing of endorphins in my brain. The scent of the perfectly ripe banana mixing with the cool, sweet yogurt is intoxicating. Cutting half-inch slices of banana (pure heaven), my mind is elsewhere as I rinse my hands. Eager to get to my delicacy, I don’t take time to dry my hands and grasp the smooth, heavy bowl. In a millisecond, my happy feeling is gone. The bowl slips from my hand and crashes on the clean white tiles of the kitchen floor. What had looked so beautiful and promising only seconds before, now looks like a pink-hot mess! Not pretty!
Yogurt is splattered up the front of the dishwasher, cabinets, and across the floor in a starburst pattern. Slices of bananas float on top of the yogurt, looking like a string of islands in a sea of pink. When I see the broken shards of the ceramic bowl, I realize I crossed the line. It is a mistake for me to be eating the banana in the first place. But I already know that.
The sound of the breaking bowl is louder than I thought it should be, as if God wants to make sure he gets my attention. This bowl is from a set of six that I bought from a store that is now closed, my beloved Christmas Tree Shops. There is no way to replace this bowl, and that gets me thinking. What I thought was insignificant (so what if my eyes itch for a day) now has a lasting effect. My temporary decision is now permanent.
I am reminded of the many times I give into temptation. It is just one little thing. How can that hurt me - or anyone else? If it feels right, it must be right. Right? Countless times I know better, but the allure pulls me in, only to find myself caught in a snare. And like a bear with its leg in the metal jaws of a trap, I need help to get out. Not pretty.
I am lucky this morning. I am stopped in my tracks, and my temptation is removed from me, literally. This time it’s something small, but what will it be the next time? And there will be a next time. I know that.
That morning’s mess is a reminder that God is ever-present in my life. He can stop me from a day of itchy eyes, or something worse. I know God will continue to save me - I just hope to catch myself before it gets too messy.