Temptations A-peel
I am convinced God takes time out of his busy schedule to save me from myself. He can, after all, because He is God. I just wish it wasn’t always so messy.
While at Stop and Shop getting groceries for a visiting guest, I came across the bananas and paused. The weather had been abysmal, and the cheery yellow of the bananas called out to me.
The person who stocked them should receive a gold star. They were straight and upright, each bunch equidistant from the next. Bunches of eight bananas were next to four, the visual weight dispersed just right. And I couldn’t help myself. As I tore a cluster of four in half, that nostalgic crunching noise splitting the air, I placed two in my shopping cart and thought, for the company.
That was at the beginning of my shop, and as I went through the store, it made me smile each time I saw those two bananas in the top compartment of my cart. It was exciting to think I was buying bananas. Before you think I was 'going bananas', I should tell you that I am allergic to bananas and haven’t bought any in years.
Practicing dental hygiene for over forty years, I have developed an allergy to latex. Bananas are a food cross-allergen, and the reaction isn’t pretty. My eyes itch so much that I want to remove my eyeballs from their sockets, rub them along sandpaper, and dip them in rubbing alcohol before placing them back in. I did say it wasn’t pretty.
These two beautiful bananas came home with me, and I placed them prominently next to a bowl of clementines. The contrast was striking, and I thought I would soon see those same colors in the leaves of the Fall trees, my favorite time of year!
The morning after my guest left, I entered the kitchen and noticed fewer clementines in the bowl, but the two bananas remained untouched and had lost their glow. Their peel did not look as crisp; the yellow had faded and was speckled with small brown spots, looking like polka dots on a pale yellow dress.
This was my favorite stage of a banana, and I could almost taste it. The meat of it would be just a bit softer and sweeter, and it drew me in. As I got closer, the banana seemed to grow an appendage, crooking a finger to bring me in. What can I say? I am hooked.
Quickly getting a ceramic bowl from the cabinet and strawberry yogurt from the refrigerator, I pushed back all the thoughts coming into my head and started justifying my decision. What is one banana? Were my eyes really that itchy? How do I know that I haven’t outgrown my allergy? And I caved.
It felt like Christmas morning as I spooned the pale pink yogurt into the bowl. As I peeled open the banana, I was sure the clashing of endorphins in my brain was audible. The scent of the perfectly ripe banana mixing with the cool, sweet yogurt was intoxicating. Cutting half-inch slices of banana (pure heaven), I wondered if I should mix the slices into the yogurt or use a fork to dip them? And I rinsed off my hands.
Eager to get to my delicacy, I did not take the time to dry my hands and grasped the smooth, heavy bowl. In a millisecond, my happy feeling was gone. The bowl slipped from my hand and crashed on the clean white tiles of the kitchen floor. What had looked so beautiful and promising only seconds before now looked like a pink-hot mess! It wasn’t pretty.
Yogurt splattered up the front of the dishwasher, cabinets, and across the floor in a starburst pattern. Slices of bananas lay amongst the yogurt, looking like a string of islands in a sea of pink. When I saw the broken shards of the ceramic bowl, I realized I had crossed the line. It was a mistake for me to be eating the banana in the first place. But I already knew that.
The sound of the breaking bowl was louder than I thought it should be, as if God wanted to make sure he got my attention. This bowl was from a set of six that I had bought from a store that is now closed, my beloved Christmas Tree Shops. There is no way to replace this bowl, and that got me thinking. What I thought was insignificant (so what if my eyes itched for a day) now had a lasting effect. My temporary decision was now permanent.
And now I am reminded of the many times when I gave into temptation. It is just one little thing. How can that hurt me or anyone else? If it feels right, it must be right. Right? Countless times I have known better, but the allure pulls me in, only to find myself caught in a snare. And like a bear with its leg in the metal jaws of a trap, I need help to get out. And it isn’t pretty.
I was lucky that morning. I was stopped in my tracks, and my temptation was removed from me. This time it was something small, but what will it be the next time? And there will be a next time. I know that.
That morning’s mess is a reminder that God is ever-present in my life. He can stop me from a day of itchy eyes, or something much more. I know God will continue to save me from myself, but hopefully, I can catch it before life gets too messy.