Temptations A-peel
I am convinced God can save me from myself, I just wish it wasn’t so messy.
While shopping for groceries for an overnight guest, I come across bananas, and pause. The weather had been abysmal and the cheery yellow of the bananas grabs my attention. They are straight and upright, each bunch arranged equidistant from the next. Bunches of eight alternate with bunches of four, the visual weight just right. I tear a cluster of four bananas in half, place two in my shopping cart and think, for the company. This is at the beginning of my shopping, and as I wind through the aisles, I smile each time I see them - I am buying bananas!
Before you think I am going bananas, I should mention that I’m allergic to them and haven’t bought any in years. My eyeballs itch so fiercely that when I rub them I am at risk of gouging them out. Not pretty.
The morning after my guest leaves, I enter the kitchen and notice the two bananas are still there. Their color is faded and speckled with small brown spots. This is my favorite stage and I can almost taste it. They seem to be calling to me, drawing me in, and I start justifying. What is one banana? Did my eyes really get that itchy? How do I know I haven’t outgrown my allergy? And I cave.
Quickly getting a ceramic bowl from the cabinet and strawberry yogurt from the refrigerator, I move faster than the thoughts flooding my head. It feels like Christmas morning as I spoon the pale pink yogurt into the bowl. Peeling the banana, I can hear the clashing of endorphins in my brain. The scent of the perfectly ripe banana mixing with the cool, sweet yogurt is intoxicating.
My mind is elsewhere as I rinse my hands. Eager to get to my delicacy, I don’t take time to dry them and grasp the smooth, heavy bowl. The bowl slips from my wet hand and smashes on the clean white tiles of the kitchen floor. My happy feeling is gone. What had looked so beautiful and promising only seconds before, now looks like a pink-hot mess! Not pretty!
Yogurt is splattered across the floor in a starburst pattern, and slices of bananas float on top, looking like a string of islands in a sea of pink. When I see the broken shards of the ceramic bowl, I realize I crossed the line. It is a mistake for me to be eating the banana in the first place. But I already know that.
The crash of the breaking bowl continues to echo in my mind. It is from a set of six I bought from a store that is now closed, my beloved Christmas Tree Shops. There is no way to replace this bowl, and that gets me thinking. What I thought was insignificant (so what if my eyes itch for a day) now has a lasting effect. The consequence I think will be temporary ends up to be permanent.
How many times do I justify and give into temptation? It is just one little thing. How can that hurt me - or anyone else? If it feels right, it must be right. Right? Countless times I know better, but the allure pulls me in, only to find myself caught in a snare. And, like a bear with its leg in the metal jaws of a trap, I need help to get out. Not pretty.
I am lucky this morning. I am stopped in my tracks, and my temptation is removed from me, literally. This time it’s something small, but what will it be the next time? And there will be a next time. I know that.
This morning’s mess is a reminder that God is ever-present in my life. He can stop me from a day of itchy eyes, or something worse. God will continue to save me - I just hope to catch myself before it gets too messy.